In a survey looking into the mental load that involved 3,000 US parents, academics at the University of Bath and the University of Melbourne found that mothers handled 71% of household tasks that required mental effort, such as keeping track of when sheets and towels needed to be washed and remembering by when food in the fridge needed to be eaten.
The study found that fathers handled many of the tasks researchers described as “episodic” – things that happen less often, such as remembering when to get the car serviced.
University of Melbourne Prof Leah Ruppaner describes the mental load as being invisible, enduring and without boundaries. “You don’t bring your dishes to work, but you bring the mental load everywhere,” she says.
The mental load is a popular topic on forums like Reddit and Mumsnet, where women seek advice about how to talk to their partners about the exhaustion of trying to juggle so many different responsibilities.
Mums told BBC News they were often added to school WhatsApp groups – where parents discuss things like non-uniform days, school trips, birthdays and lost property – as the “default parent”, while their partners never joined.
Sophia, a 35-year-old mum of three in Portsmouth, pays for school trips and makes lunch orders on her children’s school’s app on her phone, but says her husband has never downloaded it.
